Staying True To You
I think a lot, more than I need about things I don't really need to dwell about. Sometimes I roll my eyes at myself because of all the things I worry about but as pathetic as this sounds, I need worries to do what I do and to push me to do more of it. It's odd. Worries, sadness, and all the supposed negative emotions are essential to making art.
Recently I have been struggling to find my creative identity. I think much of it has to do with my excessive stalking of artists on Instagram. I'm constantly going "omg i love that i want to do something like that". It's what I do for fun, just looking at what other people have created. However, I think I've started to take it too seriously. Constantly trying to do something as innovative as someone else or merge someone else's piece with my idea has drowned me. I've misplaced my personality in the midst of admiring others'.
It struck me today though (while in the shower, because that's where revelations often happens) that I've been searching everywhere for my identity, for 'who I am' when the answer to that has always been there and was even the reason I started in the first place. I fell in love with design, or more specifically typography, because I adored the fact that no one could imitate my writing- each stroke of any letter I do is unique to itself. It is truly quite impossible to imitate the same brush stroke twice. And even with photography, every frame that is captured is captured through my eye and there's no possible way to capture the picture exactly the same again. It's crazy to think about once put into perspective. I mean, whatever you do is already unique as itself. Isn't that crazy?
It is hard starting out. Your perspective of things are formed by the people and art that inspires you. It's difficult trying to find yourself when all you know is the inspiration you've collected and it's so easy to lose your identity through them, but through all things, the best and most unique creation that you can create is of you. And I realize that now.
Neil Gaiman, one of my favorite authors, has worded very well in his speech..
"The urge, starting out, is to copy. And that's not a bad thing. Most of us only find our own voices after we've sounded like a lot of other people. But the one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can."
Stay true to yourself, as I am trying to stay true to me.