I’ve struggled repeatedly with the issue of finding my own voice, or style, in things. General things. Things that span from the very general like an opinion on living life and to the more specific recently (by that I mean the past year or so) such as my handwriting and writing. The handwriting part, or calligraphy, because I’m all into that right now, I’ve overcome a fair bit by learning to actually like my own work and appreciate the uniqueness that is me and which aided in stopping effort to replicate another artist’s work. But anyway, the handwriting part checked, but the writing, still a struggle.
|Calligraphy posted on my instagram @angelkein|
Neil Gaiman, in a video (that I still look upon from time to time since the day I was introduced to it a few years ago), put beautifully in his speech that to copy is alright, normal, and natural in the process of finding your own identity. And it was in his words that I dare pursuit other calligraphers and typographers day and night (quite literally- ask friends and boyfriend) and finally found my voice, my mind, my story, and my vision in typography. Once again, however, I still struggle greatly in finding the same thing for writing.
The urge, starting out, is to copy. And that's not a bad thing. Most of us only find our own voices after we've sounded like a lot of other people. But the one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can. -Neil Gaiman
Upon more reflection whilst writing, I also found that my perhaps I have a little self-diagnosed case of ADD. My thoughts jump from one subject to another and I end up not knowing how to end current post because my head is already on board with the importance of another subject and the idea that IT MUST BE WRITTEN NOW. And then I trail on to another topic and don't end both. I'm a little bit too much like Jack, I reckon (you know, Jack of all trades, the master of none).
I've been reading a few (more than a few) posts of other bloggers' block with writing and it's comforting to find that I am not the only one to walk this road. There's also been many, including Gaiman himself, who said that the only way to learn how to write is to do it. Sure, sounds easy enough, but really, if I was to just write, it will be a collection of scattered thoughts. But perhaps that is okay? Perhaps my scattered thoughts is somehow desirable to someone in the 7 billion crowd we have on land. Perhaps I should really yolo this situation and write without filter (okay, maybe some filter, cause lots of trouble will come by if it's complete truth).
Yeah, maybe I should take this yolo (sorry for doubling this word,if you hate this word) attitude on board again because that's actually when the best things have happened to me (e.g saying hi to boyfriend on train for the first time).
Perhaps really the core to my struggle with writing, or problems in life in general, is my lack of guts to leap into uncertainty. How scary. I don't want to live a bland life.
Why can't I write I want? Why don't I dare?
I'm doing it.